I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Your penis caused this!
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