I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
