I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize