That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
