I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
