i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
