she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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