Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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