Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I can text with my tongue
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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