I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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