singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
