It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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