So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
well you can't waste a boner
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
