There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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