have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
