oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She said her name was "party"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize