Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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