dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
