Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Quick, to the slutcave!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
