If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
