i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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