We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Randomize
