I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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