did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
