Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
