it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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