I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
