Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
