Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
