Someone shit on the floor
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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