We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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