i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
