Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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