Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
