i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
