I seem to have left my pride at pride
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
