That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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