so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He has the fingertips of a God
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