stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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