is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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