Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
