Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
