we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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