omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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