R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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