omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
