He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
