i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
