Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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