just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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