shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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