I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
