Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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