Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
