Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
