and she was petting her beer can
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
