My hand turned me down
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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