Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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