i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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