is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
