hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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