I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
