So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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