Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
