Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
