Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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