why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
