good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
