Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
