For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
