i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
