Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
